No matter who you are or what you do, everyone could use a confidence boost every now and then, right? I know i could, and who better to show us the way than Alexa Carlin, the Founder of the Women Empower Expo and all around incredibly confident human? Here she shares 7 ways we can gain confidence in our loves. Be prepared to start crushing it ASAP.
1. TAKE ACTION
When you take action on a goal, a to-do list item or even just something that’s been on your mind like cleaning the house, this sense of action breeds confidence. How? It makes you feel good about yourself because you were productive, and productivity increases your level of self-worth which then instills confidence in your ability to get things done! When you allow your to-do lists to get too long or you bypass ever taking action on a big dream or goal, you end up decreasing your level of confidence in that area of your life.
2. CULTIVATE THE RIGHT MINDSET
When I was 21 years old I had a near-death experience that left me with a 1% chance of surviving. While this experience taught me so much, one of the main things I learned from being in a coma was to focus on the things I do have control over. We spend so much energy thinking about things we can’t control — why we didn’t land that job or why that person decided not to do business with us or whatever it may be. All of this energy spent on things you don’t have control over not only creates anxiety, stress and insecurity, but it also takes energy away from focusing on the things you DO have control over. You don’t have any control over the interviewer not hiring you for the job but you do have control over applying for five more positions and practicing your interview skills. You don’t have control over why someone didn’t become your client/customer but you do have control over focusing on your marketing plan to attract the right people to your business. When you focus on what you CAN do TODAY, you develop more confidence in yourself and you spend energy on the right things to move the needle forward.
3. CONNECT WITH YOUR COMMUNITY
Community brings on empowerment and when you feel empowered, you feel more confident. Think about your personal life: When you walk into a party or a bar with a group of friends, you feel way more comfortable starting up conversations than you do when you’re alone, right? When you surround yourself with a community who supports you, you’ll feel more confident to pursue your biggest dreams and step out of your comfort zone.
4. UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU FALL ON THE “CONFIDENCE SPECTRUM”
Confidence is a skill, which means you can learn how to be confident in all areas of your life. I created what I call the “Confidence Spectrum” and it’s your job to learn where you fall. To do this, think about the last time you felt super confident. What were you doing, what were you wearing, who were you with? When you can get the vision in your mind and cultivate the feeling you had, you can go into a new situation utilizing what you know which helps you gain confidence and use that to your advantage. If it’s heels, rock those heels. If it’s having your best friend by your side, drag them along with you.
When you achieve something, you automatically feel more confident in yourself. This is especially true when you achieve something that at first was a bit scary. Many of us were told that fear is a sign of weakness and that we must rid the fear and become “fearless” in order to achieve what we want in life, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. If you feel fear over a certain goal you want to achieve, that means that goal is MEANINGFUL to you. Embrace the fear and take action on that goal and once you achieve it (which you will if you never give up on yourself) your confidence will skyrocket!
We all know that appearance affects the way we feel. I don’t care if you feel most confident in heels, sweats or your favorite pair of yoga pants, whatever makes you FEEL confident, rock it. This is about YOU. When you feel confident you perform better so make sure to tune in to how you feel and really cultivate your style around that.
7. FOCUS ON YOUR STENGTHS
I hate when people are told to write down their strengths and weaknesses. Forget about your weaknesses, you can delegate those out later! Write down your strengths in character and skill and then go all in on those. Focus only on your strengths and you’ll increase your confidence level.
At 17, she was a CEO. At 21 she had a one percent chance to live. Today, she is empowering and teaching young leaders how to succeed.
Alexa Carlin is a nationally renowned public speaker, Founder & CEO of the Women Empower Expo (WEX), and creator of the speaker training program, BeAPublicSpeaker.com. She launched the Women Empower Expo (WEX) in 2016 and grew it to become the largest event for female entrepreneurs and change leaders in South Florida and Washington D.C. within its first year.
Alexa has been featured on FOX, ABC, CBS, Cheddar TV and The Oprah Winfrey Network. She was also on the cover of Meetings & Conventions Magazine being named one of 15 "Young Millennial Go-Getters To Watch" and named one of the Most Powerful Women In Fort Lauderdale by Gold Coast's Fort Lauderdale Daily.
Alexa's drive to make a difference was inspired after a near-death experience that happened during her senior year at the University of Florida in 2013 leaving her with a 1% chance of living. This experience inspired Alexa to share her story of vulnerably with audiences all over the world through public speaking. Her authentic message of resilience and empowerment has led her to grow an engaged following of over 50,000 people on social media.